How Salad Dressing Can Ruin Your Life

I  spent the first 18 years of my 43 years of life being blissfully unaware of the "BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE" trickery.  The better part of my childhood I lived in fear that one day I would want a salad, and there would be NO SALAD DRESSING in the pantry.   Now that I'm an adult, I shouldn't have to live in fear anymore.

Apparently, my mother had this same fear, thus leading to the salad dressing hoarding.  *NOTE: I find it important to let my readers know that I have enough material on my mother to blog every day of my life, and I would NEVER run out of material.

If you are a person that has ever been in a grocery store, you know that at ANY grocery store on ANY given day of the year, you can find salad dressing on a "buy one get one free" sale.  I have to keep reminding myself of this.. because I keep hearing this voice saying, "You better stock up, you never know when these salad dressings will be on sale again."    Dear GOD!.. that voice is my mom.  It is NOT the voice of reason.

My mother cleverly disguises her salad dressing hoarding as "finding a good bargain."...  Recently, my sister and I have gone through her panty and found bottles of salad dressing dating back to the late 90's.  We speculated that she was stocking up for Y2K.  My mom would have ruled the world had it ended in 2000 -  as she would have held the world's entire supply of ranch dressing in her panty. 





*Actual Picture of part of my mother's pantry*

As it turns out, I may be incapable to stop myself of this genetic pre-disposition to hoarding.  The unexplainable part is that I KNOW in my mind that I don't need more salad dressing, yet I feel compelled to buy it anyway.  A thousand curses to my genetics.

*Actual picture of the inside of my mother's refridgerator.. with possible expired items circled in blue*

But, alas.. it doesn't end there.  While cleaning out my mom's freezer, my sister and I also found many baggies -  each with bits of Honey-baked Ham inside..meticulously labeled for future use. 

For example:  "Easter 2002".  

HOLY CRAP. I feel like I'm going to start hoarding Honey Baked Ham now.  What is happening to me?  Will it never end?