Memoirs of an enthusiastic sleeper...

To anyone that's known me for any length of time,  they will tell you that I like sleep. 

As a teenager, I never had a curfew.. because I would come home early because I wanted to sleep.  One time, I fell asleep on date with my boyfriend .. and he drove me home and knocked on the door and told my parents to come out and get me. 

I think I overestimated my ability to sleep as an adult.   Thus, my adventures with Ambien was born. 

Ambien is like an awesome friend .. but an awesome friend that sometimes takes advantage of you and leaves you drunk in an alley. 

Below is a list of various fun times Ambien and I had together:

• I ate an etire sleeve of fig newtons, a banana, spoonfuls of peanut butter, and countless glasses of Ovaltine. (no memory of the event)
• I cut my hair. (no memory of the event)
• I sent emails to my sister at 2am giving her instructions for my funeral arrangement (no memory of the event)
• I held entire conversations with various people about various subjects  - all of which I had NO recollection of the following day.

Yes, Ambien cleverly disguises herself like you're at a spa with a happy unicorn with rainbows and lollypops shooting out of its ass, but in reality, its like you fought all night in a cage with a ravenous flesh-eating dinosaur.